Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
