I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
