i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
