Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she peed on how many people?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
