I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
