Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
operation have a gay friend backfired
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
