Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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