My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
