is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
