The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize