I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
