Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
