Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
