You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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