Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
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He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
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We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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