Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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