oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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