hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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