That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His hands were made for my vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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