I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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