I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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