just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And then he peed in my hair
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