you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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