You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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