Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
