So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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