i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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