WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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