Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
