WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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