They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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