yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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