Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
