Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
