so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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