READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
