dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize