just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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