I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
