Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
