Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
