Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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