i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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