is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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