Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
