Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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