elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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