WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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