so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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