Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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