Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize