This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize