that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
