yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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