I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
