Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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