i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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