I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
