Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
