god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
