Got a toothbrush?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just forgot I was standing up.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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