Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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