I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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