I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
